At 36 she looked like she had poise and was stunning in a dress with a bit of white wine in her glass. This is how I saw her. Through the lens of his camera this is how her male friend in Aspen saw her.
As the 80's begin, Nancy is living with me(with her son). She figured we were in a "forever" type relationship. We went for a Caribbean Cruise in January and she was my partner at the "Emerald Ball" in March.
But when Sally called and invited me to Kingman to spend the night - how could I refuse? What would Nancy say? So I spent only half the nite and came home and crawled in bed with Nancy and she never knew the difference. Juggling my time between Sally, Debra and Nancy was not easy - but it turned out that Sally was the one who interested me the most - thus I spent more and more time with her in Kingman. However a triple dip with three was possible the first part of May.
Sally had an itch to go to Atlanta, Georgia to see a long time friend - Sue. By telephone we decided we should get married when she returned. Her son, Pete, went with her to Atlanta - but after a short visit he caught a plane to Denver to spend a few weeks with his father there. I flew to Atlanta and helped drive back to Kansas and to Kingman where now she was staying with her brother and she had stored her belongings. On my visits I would load my car with her things and bring them back to Wichita because we were going to live at my place after we were married. But what about Nancy? So about 2 or 3 am I would pull into the garage and very quitely open the panel in the ceiling of the garage which opened into the attic and unload her things there before going on into the house to climb in bed with Nancy.
Nancy had to be told of my plans with Sally. She cried a little then marshaled some friends to come over and help her move her things out to an apartment complex. (As I write this in 2001, she has been married now for over 20 years to a very "nice guy" - she told me this when I ran into her one day at the post office).
Sally and I were married on June the 19, 1980 in my house on Saint Cloud Street. We were married by a minister Nancy and I had met on our February cruise.(He said he was a minister - I never checked). Sally and I made up our own vows.
Her brother, "Mick," and sister-in-law, Jan, were there, her nephews and a special long time friend, Pam.
Pete returns to Wichita and I enroll him in Jr. golf at Crestview Country Club. Sally gets a job in a dental office and we have social outings with Tom and Marlane. The marriage blew up the last part of August - we had both been drinking and said things which could not be taken back - so Sally packed up her things and moved out and went to Denver. No matter what I said to try to make up - it made no difference - her mind was made up and she reunited with her old boy friend in Apsen - but soon found another dental job in Denver.
Meanwhile Susie married John Parker - the guy she met at my birthday party in 1975 - and they have been married over 20 years now.
Sally did come back to Wichita several times and even got another dental job - but her ties in Colorado were too binding to let loose and make a go of it here with me. Derba was glad to move back in - from her girl friend's place in Derby.
1981 was a year of many changes and new beginnings in my life. Sally was fading out - but she came back to Wichita several weekends which made it necessary to move Debra out for the weekend - while back in Denver Sally would make cassette tapes and sent them to me telling me of her lonely meager life and how she missed me - but was not coming back to Wichita. One weekend in town we ordered a new car - she picked it out - a gold Firebird Pontiac! - it was delivered 6 weeks later.
Lillian was a "new-hire" at Boeing - working in the same department as me - our first eye contact told us it would be fun to get together. And that we did! At noon time we would take our lunch to a deserted road near the plant - spread our blanket on the side of the ditch next to the road and have an impromptu picnic - and a few kisses and holding.
But she had some "baggage." While having dinner at her apartment she allowed the cat to walk on the table. And she had three boys age 7, 8, and 11 all with different fathers. But the baggage didn't count when such a lovey creature cuddled up close in bed as she did - and so I invited her to move in with me - this meant that Derba had to leave again - to a friend's house in Derby. And it meant I had to take care of both their sexual requirements. I was proud to take Lillian to the "Over 28" dances, the Emrald Ball and to the Country Club.
On July 30th, while at work at Boeing I was delivered divorce papers from Sally's Lawyer in Denver. Our marriage had lasted 407 days - and most of it apart.
Lillian was afraid of something - or someone - she said she had "Mob" connections that I didn't want to know about - she did make me a tape about her life with them.
Finally having three young boys around all the time, plus the cat, got to be too much for me - so in December I ask her to leave and she agreed our romance had run out of steam. But she did have a nice body and was a treat to cuddle in bed!
At a Christmas party in December, I met a girl named Sharon, who was to play a role in my life in the mid '80s - but more on that subject later. Debra and I took a Caribbean cruise the last week in December of '81 - Cosumal, Grand Caymen, Jamaica, etc:.
Frieda's husband, Larry(the marine from the 40's web page), died - a self inflicted gun shot wound - cancer trauma too much to take.
Sally calling from Denver occasionally - Lillian to "Over 28" dances - Hainline reunion the 5th of July - Boeing sends me to Huntsville for two weeks and I wanted to look up Gail Thompson from the last time I was here - but the Gail I found was not the same one - this one was a manic-depressive, big and ugly and wanted me by her side 100% of the time - I couldn' get out of Huntsville fast enough - While in Huntsville for Boeing I hosted a poker game at my house in Wichita for a California friend, Bob Jones, and monitored the game by phone.
Harold Howell(Rosie) invited us(Debra and Me), to spend the '82/'83 New Year's weekend down at their place at Grand Lake - this invitation changed my life for the next 18 years! I bought a place close to Rosie's and Harold for $15,000(Which I got from the Boeing credit Union). In '89 bought a new place for $30,000
The new place at Grandlake with Uncle Milton Reed - remember from the 30's behind the bakery? - now in his 80s and enjoying a trip to the lake
The kids learned to ski - Chris practiced in the swimming pool at Hickory Point - then as he was about to give up on ever getting up on the skiis(on the lake) - he finally got up on the 12th try!
Back - Vanassnt/Snider/Roskam/Koesinger/Hineman/O. Hadley
Back - Grabbedyke/Farney/DeCoursey/Armstrong/Trenary/Garvey/Booth
These guys were the core of the Wichita Jaycees in the 40's and the 50's - Del Roskam had the idea that we should get together ever so often - so he arranged this photo - this was the only "get-together" we ever had - perhaps his declining health had something to do with it - he died a few years after the photo was taken - no one else pursued the idea.
Thats Derba to my right and aunts Bessie, Margie and Anna in the center.
The Fourth of July was one turning point - a number of friends were around the pool (at 26) - including Sharon whom I had met at Rhonda's Christmas party last December. Someone kept fixing her Tom Collins till she needed to lay down in some quiet place - I had a "nap" room in the basement that filled the requirement. During the afternoon I had to check on her to see if she was "ok" - she was not only ok but also very loving - her husband was not at the pool party - but Debra was, but wasn't concerned about my frequent "checking" on Sharon. After that afternoon Sharon and I became very close friends(lovers) when we could dodge her husband and Derba.
Sharon loved to drink, dance, play chess, make love, and was a very playful, fun loving, cigarette smoking person. She would come over while Debra was at work at a local aircraft plant and we would play chess, drink Manhattens and make love for hours! Debra would come home for lunch (which I fixed for her) and if Sharon was here she would go down to the "nap" room in the basement and stay there till Debra went back to work. Or on other days we would go over to a local watering hole and wait till Debra went back to work and play till Sharon had to go home before her husband got off work.
Sharon had one big fault - she drove while drunk. She had a number of DUIs - she also had a gun and when she was alone at her house and was drinking and she wanted me to come over to keep her company (and I couldn't, or didn't want to come over) she would threaten to kill herself if I didn't come over. Once to prove she wasn't kidding, she opened the door of her mobile home and fired the gun into space - I came over and took her gun from her and hid it. She would go to a bar and get "limp" drunk, then call me up to come and get her and take her home - I would go then she insisted on driving her car home - of course I couldn't let her and we always had a wresling match for her car keys.
Her husband beat her often. She would show up at my place with black and blue marks all over her body. I told her it was time for her to end the marriage. She had two kids from a previous marriage.
After almost 30 years with Boeing I decided to retire and go to work for the State of Kansas checking Bingo games to determine if they were complying with the State bingo laws. Since I had called bingo at Crestview Country Club for 22 years I had some knowledge of the operation of the game - so they hired me and I went to work for the State the next day after I retired from Boeing. I worked at it for about 6 years - that with 6 years of military service gave me a retirement of effectively 12 years - which gives me additional retirement money.
One of the players was a girl named Donna Schmid. She was intranced with her bingo caller - me. Soon she was helping out with the games and upon ocassion would show up at my house, unannounced, on the pretense of having to discuss the game with me - while Debra was there!
Debra did not suspect that the girl had romance on her mind - and just ignored her coming and going from the place as she pleased. Once when Debra was not there, I was in the upstairs bedroom watching the tube and Donna comes up and joins me - soon her fingers found my fingers and the rest is history.
Donna went with me to audit Bingo games out of town - and we stayed in motels all across the southern half of Kansas - my bingo audit territory. She had been married for a short while to a Doctor - but was now divorced and had been "celibate" for a long time. She could not reach a "climax" even though we tried for hours on end - she would get close when I would give her a little "head" - but never could quite make it.
So when I was ready I would tell her to moan to simulate her having a climax thus enhancing my experience. She complied.
We would go to the lake place whenever Debra was out of town and sometimes when she didn't want to go I would take Donna.
She liked to play golf - and was good at it - we would take our golf clubs on our trips and when we saw a golf course along the way we would stop and play a round. She had a good body with strong legs - I have some video of her getting lessons from the Country Club pro - and other video tape of her and I from our about three years of being together.
We went on caribbean cruises together including a "Windjammer Barefoot Cruise" - she enjoyed snorkeling and just laying in the sun on such remote islands in the Caribbean such as "Prickley Pear"
Donna lived with her parents - some nights after they had gone to bed we would sleep together in her room and after they had left, in the morning, for their jobs, Donna would fix breakfast for us. I think her mother knew we were doing this. I was 30 years older than Donna - but we enjoyed each others company! The on-going relationships with Sharon, and of course Debra took a secondary part in my life simply because there were not enough hours in a week to keep them all satisfied and happy. But I tried.
Remember Sean, the singer enertainer, from the 70's? He came back to town from time to time and played the clubs - I took Debra to hear him - bad mistake.
When I was out of town checking on a bingo game for the state - she was following Sean from club to club and wound up in his motel room with her earrings in his jacket pocket. How I found out is another story. My good friend, Sean, whom I had taken out to Crestview to play golf when he was in town, and my girl in bed together! Hard to believe - but this was the same time-frame that I was hiding Sharon in the basement when Debra came home for lunch. Debra said she was in his motel room only to have a drink(at 3am).
I had to ask her to leave - and besides Sharon and I were spending so much time together Debra was bound to find out about us sooner than later. She refused to leave so I put her things out on the front porch and changed the locks on the doors. She got a locksmith to get her inside and brought all her things back inside. The next day I took her things to her car in her parking lot at work (at Beech) - and she finally got the message and moved in with her girl friend in Derby.
She had been paying half the mortgage payment so she took me to court and sued me to get this amount back plus something for her hurt feelings of having been kicked out. The judge agreed and she was awarded a judgment against me. Now all she had to do was to collect it!
To keep her from collecting, I took bankruptcy and she never collected a dime - but it cost me more than she was sueing me for to pay my laywer bill.
Sean told me later that he thought he had done me a favor by giving me an excuse to move her out(there may have been a lot of truth in that).
To see the 1990s go to:
http://lifeandtimesoffredhadley1990s.blogspot.com/
